Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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