I forgot how hot balto sounded
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
