weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
