every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
