Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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