I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
