I think my fart just growled at me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I touched a dick in church today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
