I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
