Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
