a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
