I molested 6 butterflies tonight
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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