he puts the penis in happiness.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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