Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
