I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
