I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
