You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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