you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
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