I must be too annoying 4 u.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
