So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
