I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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