glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
