He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
