She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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