just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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