zippers are such a cool invention
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
