So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Is it penis luge time yet?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
