so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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