between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
