The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
