Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
