i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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