omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
