Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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