He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
