Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
