I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
