Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
