On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
