He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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