I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
