Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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