i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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