grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
