Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
