i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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