I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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