I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
