I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
