Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
