yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize