that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
