i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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