i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
